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Joke of the Day

"*walks up to girl working on her laptop in a cafe* So you into computers?"

"mum just asked me why i was putting icecream on my oatmeal and w/o hesitation i said ""im one of the most dangerous minds of my generation"""

"Husband-Y r there torn condoms lying on sofa? Wife-What? Where? Wife goes 2 find them & comes back angrily saying-Will you stop calling our children ""Torn condoms""?"

"Why did the opossum cross the road? To get to the middle."

"I was rejected at this job interview that I had. Apparently, ""gang rape"" is not a suitable example to prove that you are good at working in teams."

"The ducks in Cern What does the ducks in Cern say? Quark Quark"

"Did you hear about the woman who replaced her addiction to ornithology with alcohol? She was described as being off her tits."

"Home is where the heart is, and hopefully it's where all of the other vital organs reside too."

"Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?"

"If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation."