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Joke of the Day

"Whenever somebody says ""it removes the toxins from your body"" I know that they are dumber than me"

"Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*"

"Japan just had an earthquake, I saw it on TV. It was a ground breaking news"

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizzas? Pizzas don't scream in the oven. *Preparing self For the downvotes/Report*"

"What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There was 20 of them"

"What noise annoys a noisy oyster? A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster."

"Got caught smelling my sisters underwear yesterday. Made the rest of her funeral very fucking awkward."

"When Hugh Hefner dies I don't think people will say he's in a better place."

"What do you call a Mexican detective? Sherlock, homes"

"When I Grow Up When I grow up I want to be like Prince... Dead."