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Joke of the Day

"Ive recently been under the weather but now im in a stable conditon My rooms filthy and there is shit everywhere"

"I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me."

"People consider me as God Santa : People consider me as a ""GOD"". Banta : How do you know?? Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,""Oh GOD ! U have came again""."

"You're an asshole Superman."

"If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms."

"What kind of bees get you high? Doo-bees... I'm so sorry for that"

"Little Johnny complains to mom at home, ""Mom, our teacher really doesn't know anything. He keeps asking us!"""

"What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up? Slow clap."

"Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget."

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything"