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Joke of the Day
"What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up? Slow clap."
Next Joke
"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it."
"VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year"
"If you were working at Hewlett Packard and you sprinted out of the building... ...would you die because you ran out of HP?"
"Just got back from the Czech Republic... ...it was Prague-ably the best trip of my life"
"No, my kid didn't do the drawings I have up around my desk. I did them. It's my desk."
"A man calls a tobacco shop ... Caller: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?   Clerk: Yes.   Caller: Well, let him out!  "
"I'm so old that I was the tv remote when I was a kid"
"#rubbishjokes How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's a hardware problem."
"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"