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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bees get you high? Doo-bees... I'm so sorry for that"

"My wife and I only went out for 5 months before we got married. We just knew... That she was pregnant."

"The talk -Dad, am I adopted? -Not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you"

"I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"

"Why did the hoover not make the football team? Because he sucked With love and sexy things from Jaques x"

"So I heard Labour put forth a motion to build a new telescope... I guess they want to Observe-a-tory!"

"Lazy assholes.. They just don't give a shit."

"A woman asks her Milkman to fill her bath with milk.. He asks ""Do you want that milk pasteurised?"", She replies ""No, just up to my boobs please."""

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."