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Joke of the Day

"If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms."

"Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. "

"What do you call a random complaint in Star Wars? A General Grievance."

"Deodorant? I've never needed to buy any. People just give it me. Complete strangers sometimes"

"Dad: ""A little bird told me you are doing drugs"" Son: ""You're talking to birds, and I'm the one doing drugs?"""

"What is the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your arse."

"Not totally sold on astrology, but Libras DEFINITELY hate it when you throw a bucket of paint on their car."

"Wife: ""Do you think of me when you're away darling?"" Husband: ""Yes honey I always bare you in mind."""

"What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose? It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood."

"Islam is a religion of piece. A piece of you here, there, everywhere."