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Joke of the Day

"What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream? A 10 inch long cock."

"I've got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation... so if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves."

"What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do? ...Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog"

"Who wears a red suit, and knows if you are naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition"

"[robbery] ROBBER: Give me all your money! ME: I don't have it all with me. ROBBER: Dang!"

"Why do jews have a big nose? Because air comes free of charge."

"Why do the French always were white when pole vaulting? So people can see them surrender from afar. Edit: wrong form of the form ""wear"""

"[makes a voodoo doll of himself] [gives it a little back rub]"

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw a lightbulb?"

"Me: Dad, am I adopted? Dad: Shit, like I'd have picked you?"