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Joke of the Day

"I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night. She said 'Fuck off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'"

"A German man walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The barman asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies: ""No, just one, thank you."""

"2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store."

"If you've ever accidentally stepped on a cat's tail, you've seen my wife's sex face."

"KNOCK KNOCK ""I am already owning one."""

"What's Iron Man's favorite carnival ride? The ferrous wheel."

"Why are sewer covers called manholes? If they were called womanholes, guys would keep trying to get in."

"Do you like Taco Bell? Then you'll LOVE real food!"

"Five emos in a room A study has shown that if you put five emos in a room, one of them will eventually kill himself because he wont have a corner to cry in."

"You must be the square root of -1 Because you can't be real."