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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people think I'm dumb. I follow current events. Like the World Cup, for instance. I'm totally rooting for Vuvuzela."

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"An old married couple wins 10 million dollars from the lottery. ""What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?"" the woman asks her husband. ""Keep sending them!"""

"I was running down a street and saw a bloke, I shouted ""Run quick, some lions have escaped from the zoo.""He said ""which way are they heading?"" I replied ""Well, I'm not chasing the fuckers."""

"starbucks is like a hooker... one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name"

"Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner? Because it'll gobble up everything."

"Have you heard about the 2 Spanish firemen? Jose and hose B"

"Riding a car... A man, in *curve*, skids."

"""This work simply does not deserve an A,"" my teacher said, berating me."

"Well... Well... Well... Welcome to stutterers anonymous"