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Joke of the Day
"What is hillybillys fantasy?! S&M . . . . .. Sister and Mother."
Next Joke
"Marriage is like a deck of cards... In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade."
"*angrily whispering over crib* ""Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward."" ""But why do they need their own cribs?"""
"You need to understand latin and german to understand this one Ovum ovum, quid lacus ego."
"My favorite Spice Girl was Coriander Connie. (She was crushed by a falling air conditioner before their first album came out)"
"My son has a play-date today & the mom said to dress him in holiday colors so he's in all black & I'm telling her we worship the dark lord."
"When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime, I meant with me."
"In an ideal world, a ""Laser Jet"" would be something to vaporize aliens with and not a fucking type of printer."
"What's Santa's favourite Chinese dish Beef Ho Fun"
"My parents told me as a kid that R&B stood for ribbons and bows so when I heard Barry White in their bedroom I left them alone to do crafts."