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Joke of the Day

"Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law"

"We can put a robot on Mars but we can't make a hand rail that goes the same speed as an escalator."

"What kind of beef are you most likely to catch masturbating? Stroganoff"

"Why is Boromir such a hit at orgies? Because when he blows his horn everyone comes ;)"

"""Well, you should have been more specific before I painted all these veins."" - designer of the Wienermobile"

"Vanilla Ice arrested for grand theft. Cops say, ""He jumped in the car, slammed on the gas bumper to bumper, the avenue's packed."""

"How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope. Anyone else have good black jokes?"

"I am hoping to have a gay child So that one day he/she will come to me and say ""Dad, I'm gay"" To which I will reply ""Hi gay, I'm dad"""

"I invented the upside down house. It's now a top cellar."

"What is the most confusing holiday in Detroit? Labor Day."