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Joke of the Day

"""Well, you should have been more specific before I painted all these veins."" - designer of the Wienermobile"

"I was pretty upset when I heard clocks get set ahead an hour... Oh well. Not worth losing sleep over it."

"What is white and twelve inches long? Nothing"

"Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation's ability to stow overhead luggage."

"TIL that Caligynephobia is the fear of beautiful women. So if a guy doesn't talk to you then he probably has Caligynephobia. It's the only explanation..."

"I was having sex with this girl last night and she kept screaming the wrong name all night. I wonder who tape is..."

"Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away"

"How do you find will smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince."

"Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit? All the pairs of floating eyes"

"What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere? Plot twisting!"