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Joke of the Day
"When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like your brother in law Steve"
Next Joke
"It'd be cool if a firetruck was like an ice cream truck and just drove around selling fire to kids."
"Insult me with your BEST, most offensive , crude insults you can think of! Let's see who can make me cry, and rethink continuing living!"
"Why did Simba's Father die? He didn't mufasta"
"Santa got stuck in the chimney. So I grabbed the nearest lube & rubbed him down. Then he REALLY came down the chimney!!"
"Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business."
"Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?"
"I had a boner during a funeral. I call it the ""Mourning Wood""."
"Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone."
"Did you hear One Direction is breaking up? They're heading separate ways."