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Joke of the Day

"What kind of typewriters do vampires like? Blood type-writers."

"I was texting my friend about why how I loved eating my family and pets. It was then that I learned of the importance of commas."

"Funny prank: stay over at a friend's house and die on their couch."

"I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship."

"I've been listening to the official workout station on Pandora for 3 months and I'm still fat, I'm calling bullshit."

"Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone."

"My black friends really enjoy hearing my lame jokes. It's almost like they've never been told dad jokes before..."

"Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He bombed on stage."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? A investigator"

"Fun facts about Germany No fun in Germany, go back to work!"