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Joke of the Day

"What kind of typewriters do vampires like? Blood type-writers."

"Why is Reddit tired of the broken arms joke? Because it appears in every mother fucking thread"

"Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down."

"My Christmas shopping will be financed by my swear jar again this year."

"My girlfriend treats me like God She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something."

"i dont see why i should have to brush my teeth. you dont brush the rest of your bones, do you? its ridiculous."

"I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt"

"What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer? A Tattoo."

"I would make a joke here... ...but Amy Schumer doesn't need any more material."