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Joke of the Day

"Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down."

"I can see what happens at the end of Trump's presidency I have 2020 vision."

"I'll take ""Much ado"" for $1000, Alex. Answer: ""John Wayne...Jeff Bridges... Donald Trump."" ""Who are The Duke, The Dude, and The Douche."""

"Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school I don't think I could ever repay you"

"Why did the suicide bomber explode on the train? To get to the other side."

"A teacher tells the class whoever answers her next question can go home. A boy throws his bag out the window Teacher: ""Who just threw that?!"" Boy: ""Me. I'm going home now."""

"My girlfriend is like my iPad i don't have an iPad."

"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"

"I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance."

"I got head from a blind woman She didn't see it coming!"