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Joke of the Day

"How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb? It was too bright in here anyway."

"Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense! ""The green one dad, not the Red one!"""

"Sexxist much? Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? A: give her a shovel."

"I left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting... I wonder what she's up to now."

"A Pokemon Go player walks into a bar... Then into a tree... Then into a car..."

"I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn't you come to my house - you could have had some of ours for free!"

"I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class. I've never run so far in my life."

"When I win the lottery I'm getting a pool boy, maybe I'll even get a pool."

"Someone stole my mood ring I'm not sure how I feel about that"

"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."