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Joke of the Day

"Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense! ""The green one dad, not the Red one!"""

"There's that man in Utah that makes cheese all by himself. They call him the Provo Lone guy."

"What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak? Teaching the chicken to cook"

"How many rednecks does it take... I don't know exactly, but a shit ton."

"Stop Flaming Faggots! A Non profit dedicated to informing the public about the fire dangers of bundled sticks and stacked firewood."

"I, for one, is a pretty weak Scrabble play."

"In Soviet Russia... You are in charge of Charles. (h/t Wife)"

"My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004"

"Cleaning out the garage, I found some things I didn't even realize I had. Like a tent, a new printer, and a fourth kid."

"My calculus professor recently divorced his wife .. .. one day he simply told her ""I'm making a you substitution""."