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Joke of the Day
"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."
Next Joke
"How do you say Constipated in German? Farfrompoopin"
"Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops"
"What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East? Happi-ness"
"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"
"This guy goes to the Olympics and sees a guy carrying a long pole. He asks - Are you a pole vaulter? Guy replies - No I'm German, and my name is Hans."
"Heckling I am looking for some heckling like jokes to yell out during soccer games. Any ideas?"
"I wear glasses because I like to dramatically remove them to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lenses."
"Why can't you eat soup in The Matrix? Because there is no spoon."
"Ppl freakin cuz its sharks in the ocean. News flash: that's where they live! If u see them at Chipotle, then we have a problem"