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Joke of the Day
"Someone stole my mood ring I'm not sure how I feel about that"
Next Joke
"What does a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Went to the disco last night... Went to the disco last night. They played Twist, so I did the Twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen, I got kicked out for that one.."
"Unlike his famous father, Lord Kelvin's son never amounted to much. He was an absolute zero."
"What do rattlesnakes and condoms have in common? I don't fuck with either of them!"
"If your kids are playing and it gets totally quiet, then you hear one say ""you're okay, you're okay,"" they are definitely NOT okay."
"Receiving reddit gold was like losing my virginity. I knew it would never happen again."
"(Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)"
"Why shouldn't you get stoned and reddit?"
"I ordered the CliffsNotes version of Snooki's book and they sent me a bar menu, a printout of the urban dictionary and an STD pamphlet."