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Joke of the Day

"Someone stole my mood ring I'm not sure how I feel about that"

"You are what you eat. *eats Ryan Gosling* *crosses fingers*"

"Why did the monkey paint his balls red? So he could hide in the cherry tree... What's the most load noise in the jungle? ... A giraffe eating cherries!"

"I Like My Women Like I Like My Math http://spikedmath.com/comics/138-i-like-my-women-like-i-like-my-math.png"

"How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer? Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha."

"The odds of being killed by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067. So if you know 3,748,066 people who haven't been killed by a shark: avoid the ocean."

"Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this."

"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."

"A superposition walks into a bar . . . . . . or ***did*** it???"

"I just watched Discovery's ""How It's Made"" and, honestly, I'm never eating another urinal cake again."