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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!"
Next Joke
"My wife has the body of a porn star... ..which is kind of creepy and takes up a lot of room in the fridge."
"Doctor Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I can't believe that!"
"A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan. The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass. ""What in the world is this?"" The bartender says, ""Central Park."""
"how wide is the universe? how long is a piece of string theory"
"My toddler stole bacon off my plate. We all had a good laugh. Then I made her move out."
"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."
"What do you get the girl who has everything? Penicillin."
"I'm no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him."
"""You never tell me you love me,"" said my girlfriend. I said, ""That's because you never ask."" She said, ""Do you want me to?"" ""Go for it,"" I replied. She said, ""Do you love me?"" I said, ""No."""