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Joke of the Day

"My toddler stole bacon off my plate. We all had a good laugh. Then I made her move out."

"Two promiscuous citrus fruits have unprotected sex They get lemon-aids"

"I'm selling my Theremin.... I haven't touched it in years."

"Birth Control It's like direct deposit without the interest"

"If you say a number loud enough its value increases. * 5 = 5 * 5! = 120"

"Did you hear about the failed Origami shop? If folded."

"Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!"

"That thin line between ""I should tweet that"" or ""I should talk to my therapist about that""..."

"Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make? Yoda: ""Dey go bah"""

"What's the difference between a seagull and a baby? The seagull flits along the shore, the baby shits along the floor."