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Joke of the Day

"My wife has the body of a porn star... ..which is kind of creepy and takes up a lot of room in the fridge."

"Hyperbole makes me want to kill myself."

"What did my wife say after I finally got around to trimming my pubic hair? Wow, that's pretty nuts."

"There's 3 types of people in this world People who can count and people who can't count"

"My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels."

"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because B shells are to small and D shells are to big."

"The TSA doesn't take compliments well... All I said was that the TSA was the **BOMB** and they wouldn't let me leave!"

"Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium"

"What do you call a fish who went to medical school? A sTurgeon"

"I'm worried about the calendar... Its days are numbered"