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Joke of the Day

"Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird ""You can secretly watch Netflix at work"" Oh, please take literally all of my money."

"I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them ""My Dixie wrecked"""

"What web page do orphans visit the most? 404 Edit: Sorry it sucks, it's me trying to make oc."

"Butter Joke There's a brick of butter and a fly, the fly was stuck on the butter. The fly says to the butter ""Hey butter , why don't you fly."" The butter says ""Because I'm not a Butterfly!"""

"If actions speak louder than words, then why is it the thought that counts?"

"Wizards of the Coast: Wizards of the Coast, and this is where the magic happens."

"I cleaned my wood floors with furniture polish and now I'm a pretty pretty ice dancer."

"Spielberg missed a great opportunity when he didn't put FIN at the end of Jaws."

"Me: so I'm delusional? Doctor: yes. Me: and you're a delusion? Doctor: yes. Me: I want a second opinion. Pink Dragon: you're delusional."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."