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Joke of the Day

"Him: Do you want to run away with me? Me: We won't actually be running, right?"

"WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE'S FRIEND: she's eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That's how numbers work"

"Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never entered his head before."

"I was chatting with a black guy about having coffee... Playfully, he asked me, ""how's your hot chocolate?"" ""I should ask you,"" I replied."

"Ann! do you remember me? We have so many memories together Ann: **SEGMENTATION FAULT**"

"When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? **One.** **Germans are very efficient and not very funny.** *Source: My co-worker.* *I'm German and I approve this message.*"

"Why were the people in the twin towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane."

"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."

"Best pick up line ever (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCw5XThfsI"