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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? **One.** **Germans are very efficient and not very funny.** *Source: My co-worker.* *I'm German and I approve this message.*"

"The other night I had a dream I was being wanked off by a Ghost. I was scared stiff."

"I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous"

"So Microsoft bought skype for millions of dollars Idiots didn't know skype's free."

"Just once, I want someone to look at me and say, ""That's her. She's the one"" And not follow it with ""who ate cake out of the garbage"""

"For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes."

"I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""Haha good one!"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap"

"Hey imbecile, just because you are listening to loud music on your iPod, doesn't mean that the rest of the supermarket can't hear you fart"

"What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute the rooster says cockadoodledoo a prostitute says anycockwilldo"

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizzas? Pizzas don't scream in the oven. *Preparing self For the downvotes/Report*"