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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: how old is your daughter? WIFE'S FRIEND: she's eight going on nine. ME: *whispering* That's how numbers work"

"Shake what yo mama gave you! Oh she just handed you a child. Don't shake that"

"What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home? Get in the Karma."

"So a radio talks to another radio Over."

"When I die I already know my last words will be. ""but I'm still hungry"""

"I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force."

"I'm rubber. You're glue. He's glitter. She's decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang."

"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."

"Mike Huckabee calls Obama a ""pretend Christian"", and if anyone's an expert on ""pretend Christians"", it's Mike Huckabee."

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"