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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend just sent me a txt: 'I think I want to see other people.' My reply was, 'You better look out the window.'"

"What do you call poor pasta? Spaghetto."

"Lot's Wife We've all heard the story. No one can blame her if she felt any resentment. Some say, after all these years, she's still pretty salty about it."

"What do you call a flat chested girl? Manchester Mehboob (translation from hindi : lover)"

"[ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up"

"Hungover? Hydrate. Depressed? Hydrate. Want to make a good first impression on others? Hydrate."

"tomorrow is national microphone day... check 12/12/12"

"Why didn't the two tampons talk to each other? Because they were stuck up bitches."

"""Better to die on your feet than live on your knees!"" cried the revolutionary. ""That's what Che said,"" whispered his comrade."

"My wife and I lost 150lbs combined! So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!"