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Joke of the Day

"Hungover? Hydrate. Depressed? Hydrate. Want to make a good first impression on others? Hydrate."

"Does Kanye really think America would elect a black man from the south side of Chicago with an odd name? Give me a break..."

"May I have a quick word with you? Velocity"

"[apocalypse] Day 5: sickness is spreading rapidly Day 34: the streets are filled w death. There's no joy left in the world Day 69: LOL 69"

"I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call it Brian Beano."

"OMG another Chilean just got voted out of the mine, can't wait to see who wins"

"I'm curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they're taking it out of their cars too?"

"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."

"Knock knock Who's There? Adjust. Adjust who? Adjust lost the game."

"How could the Statitician stand in a fire and be okay? He had a block of ice on his head."