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Joke of the Day

"What's big and round and full of seamen? Your mom"

"I wish my girlfriend was more like my job... My job sucks dick!"

"Since the amazing rescue of the sailor found at sea after 66 days ........ ........... is there any news on the tiger, hyena, zebra and orangutan?"

"What do you call a singing laptop? Adele"

"Where do you get 'Extra Virgin' olive oil? Really ugly olives."

"In the US the best men of all are called ""bros."" In the UK, it's ""lads."" Either way, they're both thoughtful, selfless & fun to be around."

"Isaac Newton's friend was 16 minutes late the first time they met. At their second meeting, the friend was 8 minutes late. At this rate, said Newton, ""you'll never be on time."""

"How do you make a hormone? You pay her. (This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)"

"Did you hear about the stupid photographer? He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom."

"What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight."