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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a singing laptop? Adele"

"My dad never loved me as a child. I can't blame him really. I wasn't born until he was an adult."

"There was a robbery in Antarctica, but it was stopped. There was even a party to celebrate Justice was served"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bay-gulls."

"If 7 out of 10 sports fans have below average intelligence, what percentage of sports fans is that? 110%. [Aaaaaand we prove once again that morons are humorless. Really should know that by now.]"

"Man Bun? or Douche Knot? neither, it's a fairy tail."

"I'm so sick of political jokes... I've seen too many get elected."

"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"

"What happens once a minute, twice a moment, but never in an eternity? The letter M"

"I love being American. Just the other day I ate half my meal, got even fatter, then threw the rest away because f*ck starving people."