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Joke of the Day

"Instagram: My life is a party. Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show Facebook: My life turned out great! Twitter: We're all going to die."

"What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"In Soviet Russia, no one make comments on r/jokes Because in Soviet Russia, real comment is always in joke"

"I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect ""I've"" to ""me've"" and me'm really excited about it."

"If you're only18, please don't tweet philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"[opens treasure chest & it's full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders"

"How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West? By Bony Express."

"Who cares if you break a damn mirror. If you think 7 years of bad luck is hell, try breaking a condom."

"What's the most popular family car in Norway? The Fjord Focus"

"Roses are red, violets are blue I'm schizophrenic, and so am I"