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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference in a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a Garbanzo bean on my face before."

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... But I already told it."

"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"

"Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa."

"Ronda Rousey walks into a bar... and gets knocked the fuck out"

"A terrorist walks into a bar... He orders a Molotov Cocktail"

"why did god create the yeast infection so women could see what it's like to live with a miserable cunt"

"I'm a theist I would be atheist, but I left a space for God."

"My girlfriend played the cello and I loved it. But recently she gave up the cello and took up the violin, so I had to break up with her. Because I'm all about that bass, no treble."

"BREAKING NEWS! Lorena Bobbitt involved in a road rage incident. She cut off some dick in traffic."