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Joke of the Day

"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"

"Chuck Norris's version of a ""chocolate milkshake"" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel."

"What's a bodybuilder's favourite movie streaming service? Net*flex*"

"Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change."

"What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion? It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam."

"A group of sex toy manufacturers are discussing the success of their products... and they decided that only dildos had really achieved market penetration."

"To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run"

"Donald Trump seeks total and complete ban on algebra because he thinks that it may be related to alqaeda"

"What do Coors Light and sex on the beach have in common? They're both fucking close to water. (credit goes to my dad for this one...)"