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Joke of the Day

"In a survey of American women when asked ""Would you sleep with President Clinton?"" 86% replied ""Not again"""

"When i was a Kid my dad would beat me with a camera. I still have flashbacks."

"It's an age-old question, but which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster."

"A hole in my heart... There's a hole in my heart ever since Macho Man Randy Savage died a hole that can only be filled if I snap into a slim Jim"

"People are like, ""Jess, can you give me some advice?"" & I'm like, ""K, don't get kidnapped."""

"I'm having a hard time with not using sexual innuendos. But it's hard *So hard*"

"I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell."

"Which part of the cabbage don't you eat? The wheelchair."

"My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart."

"I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette."