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Joke of the Day

"So an Irishman walks out of the bar."

"Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us."

"Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself."

"Some say I'm an apathetic person... But really, I just don't care."

"*In church 9: [Whispers] Why do we have to keep sitting & standing and sitting & standing... Me: [Whispers] So we don't fall asleep 9: oh"

"I grew up in a very sheltered household. Our house had 17 roofs. We had alcoves upon alcoves. I wore a tarp wherever I went."

"Roses are red, Roses are blue, Roses are white, Genetics."

"Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog."

"You wanna read a joke about Sodium? Na . . . What about Nitrosoxide NO . . . Umm... Potassium? K.."

"I can always tell when someone is lying by tying them down and strapping them to a lie detector."