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Joke of the Day

"Some say I'm an apathetic person... But really, I just don't care."

"What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? A Receding hairline"

"My girlfriend is a porn star.. she is going to be *so* pissed when she finds out."

"Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally"

"*walks in at 3am* Wife: OMG, what happened? Me: I was attacked. [front door 5hrs later] Neighbor: What happened to our inflatable Santa?"

"Princess Diana died of dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glove box."

"Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships."

"Everyone knows you can tell a criminal is lying if his lips are moving, but how do you know when a cop is lying? His pen is moving."

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile with my shoes....shoved up your ass."

"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."