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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a dubstep joke But I'll just drop it."

"At church they said the number of the beast is 666, but I stood up and said that's not my wifes phone number at all. She's zero fun today"

"Its important you remember that unprotected phone sex........"

"I ate too many rowing paddles Now I feel oar-full"

"So a man walks into a bar His drinking problem is destroying his family"

"Earlier I joked that Toronto was the capital of Canada. ""Joked"" being the operative word. Everyone knows only real countries have capitals."

"The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong... but who cares, he was delicious!"

"The definition of an oxymoron /r/Productivity"

"Why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? ...because everyone who can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border"

"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"