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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want my hand to be glued in a thumbs up, and my body lowered into molten steel."

"If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]"

"It's funny how one person can make you never trust anybody..."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"My favorite genre on Netflix is ""watch it again"""

"What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet!"

"People are like slinkys... ... they're no fun to look at but when you push em down the stairs you cant help but smile."

"Football legend Michael Owen has announced he's releasing a new fragrance It's going to be called ""My Cologne""."

"What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies? ""Meet me - oh, right.."""

"Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor."