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Joke of the Day

"i once had a beautiful wife, she was always the prettiest when she was asleep. Unfortunately she died after i gave her too many sleeping pills."

Next Joke
 
"A peddler at the mall tried to sell me some velcro.. what a ripoff"
"A group of people walk into a bar... An Irishman, a rabbi, a Japanese man, a blind man and a boat captain walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""is this some kind of a joke?"""
"My guy friend is pregnant! Inconceivable!"
"[Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: ""wtf?"" God:""You're a crab"" Crab:""wtf?"" God:""Now go forth"" Crab: *walks sideways ""WTAF?!"""
"Sure, the BMW symbol kind of looks like a sphincter, but I could already tell by the way you were driving."
"Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop? Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)"
"Love will tear us apart. Also, bears, wolves and some other woodland creatures."
"What did the lobster do at the disco? Pulled a muscle."
"Sometimes this earth seems so crazy to me. But I guess I should expect it from a bipolar planet."