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Joke of the Day

"[Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: ""wtf?"" God:""You're a crab"" Crab:""wtf?"" God:""Now go forth"" Crab: *walks sideways ""WTAF?!"""

"whats the difference between me and the bible? i'm easy to read"

"So pokemon go is now just as popular as tinder. Both are apps where you swipe to find monsters in your area."

"What do you say to your girlfriend with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice."

"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? Wasabi"

"Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks = girl ant. If it floats = buoyant."

"A book fell on my head today... I've only got my shelf to blame."

"You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg"

"A positive parent.. A positive parent said to their negative child... Your grounded."

"I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money."