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Joke of the Day
"A peddler at the mall tried to sell me some velcro.. what a ripoff"
Next Joke
"So it's world Philosophy day today and I was trying to think of something deep to say... The best I could come up with was lagoon."
"English teachers' favorite knock-knock joke Knock-knock Who's there? To To who? *To whom*"
"Ay girl, are you a Pokemon? Because I wanna take a Pikachu."
"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."
"A joke from my dad: Why is Santa so jolly? He knows where the naughty girls live."
"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists."
"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"
"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were in a car crash, who would survive? America"
"At this point my body would probably mistake a vegetable for a virus and try to attack it."