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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry potter can get out of a chamber"

"[using ouija board] R2...L2....L1....R2...LEFT...DOWN... ""what the hell?"" [everyone is suddenly carrying like 8 different guns]"

"A a few States in the south celebrate MLK and Robert E Lee day on the third Monday in January. They are working to separate them."

"A crowd of theater fanatics walk into a bar. They go to the bartender and say, ""One round please."" ""A round of what?"" The bartender asks. ""A round of *applause*!"" They all scream in unison."

"What did the buffalo say before sending his son off to college? Bison."

"Ebola is in Dallas? At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything."

"Yelp* now has jail reviews. (true) Felon87: Try for Block C. Great ambient lighting, management is courteous & the risotto is 'to die for'."

"How do you get four old ladies to shout ""Fuck""? Get the fifth one to yell, ""Bingo!"""

"[board meeting] ""So Mr Parachute do u have a name for your invention?"" ""I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'."" ""Uh no."""

"My uncle's wife... My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands. She was my vigilauntie."