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Joke of the Day

"Why does ""new and improved"" always end up ""expensive and shitty""?"

"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless."

"I won 5th place in the swimming competition! There were only 5 of us."

"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy makes your cock feel nice and makes you cum, a cunt is who owns the pussy."

"Me: But God, where did the second set of footprints go? God: That's when you were dating that psycho. I wasn't sticking around for that."

"What does Jesus do with all the money he gets from church tithings? Jesus saves."

"If it's too cold in a room... Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees!"

"Watched the movie Gravity tonight. Didn't see as much gravity as I expected. Two thumbs down based on that."

"My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates Nobody likes the black ones"

"Why is leather armor the best for sneaking? Because it's made of hide"