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Joke of the Day

"Dear Cracker Jack: The prizes in your bag aren't prizes anymore. They're tiny pieces of paper that say, ""Go fuck yourself."""

"What do diapers and Politicians have in common? They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason."

"There was an infantry man that rode horses for over 50 years. What was his name? Major Bumsore"

"""Your word is their..."" ""Your word is their,"" said the spelling bee judge. The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence. ""They're looking for their dog over there,"" replied the judge."

"You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child."

"Why is poo tapered? So your arse doesn't slam."

"What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know I wasn't invited !"

"I've always wanted to be a comedian... But I have a tremendous fear of being laughed at."

"Do you think Michael J Fox....? Do you think Michael J Fox ever gets an answer out of an 8-Ball?"

"I have a rare mental condition that makes me see a gold next to my submit on reddit Edit: Thanks for the gold!"