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Joke of the Day

"You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child."

"[Google Search History] 1. Do raccoons like to cuddle? 2. What does rabies smell like? 3. I can't feel my face."

"What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!"

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? One was a salted."

"What do you call a ban-worthy girl A banshee"

"LPT: if you're trying to study, don't listen to music with lyrics Any modern pop-song should do."

"What do you call an anarchist grandmother who just found out she's pregnant? Rebel without a menopause."

"When I was a child I played ""The Floor is Lava!"" But as an adult, I've put away childish fancies, and purchased magical lava-proof shoes."

"My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite."

"Clever Husband. Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: It's for you and your parents."