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Joke of the Day

"You know what's the difference between a housewife and a politician? The housewife thinks about doing her taxes while having sex. The politician thinks about having sex while spending your taxes."

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"When a girl doesn't invite me up to her place after a date I just assume it's because she's a hoarder with 30 kitty cats."
"Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs."
"don't regret doing things, regret getting caught"
"Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually home with the kids!"
"What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush."
"What kind of juice does hitler drink? Concentrated juice."
"What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment? A booby trap"
"Who Wears The Old Clothes Of Angela Merkel? Angela Merkel."
"I want to start a Precedents Day, but it's tough because there's never been one before."