172893

Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of women staring at my spaceship. It's like, HELLO, my tentacles are up here!"

"My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram"

"Who are the most homo-erotic pop group at Hogwarts? Wand Erection. EDIT: If you don't get it, try saying it aloud."

"Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!"

"""Beatles or Stones?"" I asked my son. ""Why can't I just have something normal for dinner?"" he pleaded"

"After a long time of procrastination I read that book about the 4th dimension. It's about time..."

"What does a cat say when it lands on it's back? Me. Ow."

"Michael Jackson, too soon? What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One of them walks on the moon, the other one fucks little boys in the ass"

"So I encountered my friend with a penguin next to him.. So I said to my friend: ""You should take that penguin to the zoo"" So he responds: ""I already did that, but he didn't like it"""

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? At least 7. One to screw in the bulb and the others to form a support system. They would also like you to know they're vegan."