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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of women staring at my spaceship. It's like, HELLO, my tentacles are up here!"

"I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers."

"Sorry I interrupted your wedding dance with a much much better dance"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina ? Only SOME of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded."

"How do you organize a party in space? You Planet"

"Why was the sun wearing sunglasses? So he could creep hard on uranus"

"A wizard walks in to a gay bar.. And disappears with a poof!"

"Apple is reinventing the wheel. It's going to be Revolutionary!"

"I saw a blind person skydiving today Man, what a jerk. Scaring his poor dog like that..."

"I bet the terrorists have a guy who does parody songs named Weird Al Qaedavic."