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Joke of the Day

"My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram"

"A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin?"

"What do you call a thin North Korean leader? Skim Jong-Un (guess you could say he eats Skimchi)"

"Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once."

"Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside."

"If I was Baltimore's head coach I'd probably just say ""That's so Ravens"" after every play."

"""Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl?"" ""No, flush it like everyone else"""

"If we get matching tattoos I want them on the elbow because weenus together."

"What's the ugliest shape? An eyesoresceles triangle."

"It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad."