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Joke of the Day

"Michael Jackson, too soon? What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One of them walks on the moon, the other one fucks little boys in the ass"

"If you're gonna by me a drink..... You better at least push my stool in!"

"Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US? Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776."

"What do you call a straight Godzilla fan? Hedorahsexual"

"What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman? An empty playground"

"how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sikhs"

"I recently got crushed by a pile of books, but I suppose I have only my shelf to blame."

"There are 11 types of people in this world.. a) those that understand Roman numerals. b) those that don't understand Roman numerals."

"What do you call a bomb in a French kitchen. Linoleum blown apart."

"When Kelis sang about her milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard... ...do you suppose she was referring to her dairy-ere?"