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Joke of the Day

"Prince The artist formally known as alive"

"[rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* ""yo you a cop"" um no ""hmm ok what you want"" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*"

"I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party."

"When I die , I want to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume."

"Don't go over-analyzing my statuses. If I made sense all the time I wouldn't need to be here so much."

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"

"I was at a golf course... And I asked a lady, who looked like a regular ""Whats the distance between hole one and hole two?"". She answered ""About an inch""."

"I once met an Asian with excellent grammar... So I said, ""Wow, your grammar is so good!"" And they replied, ""No.....my grandma's dead."""

"Im pretty sure my dick is a masochist It loves being beaten every day"

"I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver."